Death to self… loathing.

I have no idea why, but something has changed in me this past week. I know the Lord has been in this change, as it’s nothing but good, my confidence is through the roof, i’m moving on into the role that the lord has called me into, and even if i’m not perfect (which i’m far from) i’m happy being me for the first time in a long time! And there’s a reason for this.

A topic i’ve spoken a lot about on this blog is the idea that we must die to ourselves in order to truly live for God. What if i told you that’s more than just giving up on our own desires? And it includes how we perceive ourselves? This is the very notion that i was challenged with after a meeting last monday night.

Up until this point, i’d always perceived the idea of dying to self as putting our selfish desires to death and dedicating our all to the Lord. But it was made clear to me that this is only a part of this call. It was made clear to me that the idea of death to self is more to do with our insecurities than it is our desires. That’s not to say our sinful desires are part of God’s plan for us, but more that these desires are not even thoughts while we are living fully in and for Christ.

Something i’m very honest about on this blog is my insecurities, not just in terms of my abilities as a writer, but as a man of God. I’ve always seen myself as somehow lesser than everyone else in my life, like somehow i’m a terrible person just by the fact that i am me. And this mindset has seeped into some of my theological understanding. The idea of dying to self is one such example of this.

See, until now, i’d never thought that, by having this mind-set that i am unfix-able, that i am so broken not even Jesus could save me, i was in fact still refusing to die to my ego. The thing to remember about death to self is, it allows us to be whom Christ has made us to be, and he didn’t make us to be people of doubt, but people of the kingdom.

We are called to not only put our sinful desires to death at the foot of the cross, but also to put our doubt of God’s goodness to death. See, in believing the lies of the enemy, that we are somehow the exception to his rule and to his sacrifice, we are not living as Christ but as the world wants us to be, scared and doubting in his love.

God has made you to be a powerful warrior not a worrier. We are the people of the ever-loving king, the all-powerful creator, and we are made into more than conquerors through Christ. Don’t believe me? It’s right there in his word!

Romans 8: 31-39

What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us,who can be against us?  He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?  Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies.  Who then is the one who condemns?No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?  As it is written:

“For your sake we face death all day long;
    we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,  neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Anyone that knows me or has been reading this blog for a while will know that this is my favorite passage in the bible. Because it’s not only a reminder of our power through Christ, but a statement over our lives, that we are loved by Christ. And no power in this universe can separate us from that love. And as the old song goes  “No power of hell, no scheme of man, can ever pluck me from his hands”.

No matter how we feel about ourselves, we must know that we can do all things through Christ. The challenge is putting our self loathing to death, and stepping out to be the wonderful person that you have been made to be.

So this week, my challenge to you is a simple one, when things seem to be going wrong, when it seems like nothing could be possibly worse, or if you feel like you’re broken and weak and can’t go on anymore. Try to think of the positive things about you and remember you are loved and valued by the ever-loving father, and he has made you for so much more than this. It’s time we die to self, and put self loathing to death.

Thank you for reading, and May God Bless you.


2 thoughts on “Death to self… loathing.

  1. hey Im 20 as well from Miami, FL. I post very little on here but wanted to start back up again. If you can read my posts from today, you’d understand my thoughts a little better. Anyways, I came across your blog on the community pool. I would like to say thank you for allowing God to use you the way you do. I know this post was for me from the Heavenly Father. He often talks to me like this clear, I just wish I’d listen more though. Bottom line, thanks and God bless.


    1. Thank you for taking the time to read it! I’ll be reading your posts in a moment (sorry for the late reply!) I’m glad that you’ve gotten something from this post, it’s always brilliant to hear God is using these! But honestly, don’t be so hard on yourself when it comes to listening to him, it’s not always an easy thing to do, it’s mainly pushing through that in order to be able to live the way we are called to. God bless!

      Liked by 1 person

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