Okay, so, this is going to be a hard post for me to write, I’m terrified to write this, it’s a topic that I’ve brought up on this blog a few times, but it’s a topic I’ve not really gone into detail about it, But with me being cleared from my therapy this week, and it being World suicide prevention day at the time of publishing, I think it’s a good time to talk about it. If you decide to skip this post, that’s fine, I’ll be back to my normal posts on Monday, but to me at least, this is an important issue.
I mention my struggle with Clinical depression a lot, it’s one of the main reasons i started this blog, because i felt God call me to write about my struggles with this mental illness and hopefully, use this to bless others that suffer with it. It’s why i use the tagline “Living with depression, living for Christ” Because it sums up my mission with this blog, if one person feels closer to God in those times of darkness, i know I’ve done my job!
I mention this because i want to establish that i struggle with depression, but it’s not due to me not trusting in God, I go where he sends me and i do what he asks of me with Joy in my heart. But when you’re in that sort of place, it’s not easy to get out of it. Which was how i felt when i was in that place of feeling like the world would be a better place if i wasn’t in it, that my friends would be happier and my family would have one less disappointment in their ranks. Now that’s not to say this is true, that the world would really be better if i was gone or my loved ones would be glad if i wasn’t around, but when you’re in that mindset it doesn’t matter, logic doesn’t clear the fog when you’re so convinced that there’s no lifeline. It got to the point where i was self harming, I’ve scarred my arm from this and planned to end my life a number of times, but for some reason i never went through with it, i can’t tell you why, because i don’t really know in all honesty but to this day i believe that it was Jesus that saved me that day and put me back on the path back to him. Thanks to Jesus’ love and mercy, I’m free of those thoughts, i still struggle with depression, true, but i know that God is there for me, which makes things a little and it’s an amazing feeling to be free of those thoughts.
But there are still followers of Jesus that suffer with these thoughts, that have suffered with this horrible feeling of loneliness, that feel like there isn’t a place for them in this world no matter how untrue that may be. We need to love each other, like Jesus loves us. Letting those suffering know how much we love them can be the difference between making their day and another attempt at ending their life. If that’s through actions or just letting them know we’re thinking about them and praying for them. I know I’d be in a much worse position than i am now if it wasn’t for a wonderful God of love placing me with people who love and accept me as the person i am, and i don’t think there’s anything i could ever do to pay them back, but be there for them if they ever need me.
We as the church need to be there for those struggling, we need to be the hand lifting people out of the darkness of depression and into a meeting with Jesus. So please, if you know someone struggling with these thoughts, give them a call, pay them a visit, let them know you love them, be there for them, Because you could be all they have at that moment.
Thank you for reading and show someone some love that needs it.