Hi everyone, this is the first time I’ve attempted something like this, but I feel like now is a good time to start, i want my first Blog to be about something that’s close to my heart and something that affects me and many people i know and love, But before I start, I want to tell you a bit about my self. My name is Luke, I’m 19 and I’ve been a Christian for 5 years, i also suffer with clinical depression. This has been a huge part of my life for better or worse, it’s something i struggle with daily, I’ve struggled with self harm and suicidal thoughts/tendencies, i have trouble praising myself if i do something well, i can’t see any positive traits i may have, I can’t accept that my friends actually want to spend time with me because they care about me however i guess it’s the cross i have to take up daily (referred to in Luke 9.23.)
This isn’t a plea for attention, nor for sympathy, but just a fact of my life, doesn’t make it any easier to live with but, at least for now, it’s not going away, But it doesn’t mean i can’t choose to look for the light after the darkness. The thing about depression, for me at least, is trying to see through the clouds of paranoia to find an unfailing love, fighting the loneliness to find companionship in the lord of all things, i think of depression not as an inability to feel happiness, but as enhancer for sadness, in other words, the good times are still there, but the bad hit harder.
However, i am confident, that things will get better, that there is a light after the darkness, because as it says in Psalm 30:5: “For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.” I may not know the reason i’m suffering with this right now, and i may never know in my lifetime, but i know God uses all things for good, so i don’t need to know. In Romans 8 (37-39) it says “ In all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord” One of the ways I interpret this is, that no matter how isolated i may feel, how empty i am, That the love of Jesus is always with me, I may not always recognize that fact, but that doesn’t make it any less true, because his love is everlasting, his plans are unbeatable, and his will is always for the good of us, He is a God of amazing grace and unfailing love, This is just as true today as it was yesterday and will be tomorrow.
Next week i’ll be writing about the art of suffering in a christian life and how it’s a privilege to suffer for Christ. Thank you for reading. And God bless.